John McCain supposedly has a "short list" of twenty or so potential running mates. I have no idea what goofballs he has on that list but I have a few suggestions for McCain:
- Zoe from Sesame Street. Her youth and inexperience will balance out McCain's old, crusty exterior, and she can effectively chastize McCain when he has a hissy fit.
- The Rev. T.D. Jakes, who will add some color balance to the ticket, and might get a few dozen black people to vote for him. It might give him some cred with the Southern Baptist Convention.
- Ann Coulter. She is living proof that there are a few decent looking republican women, but just like an onion, if you peel back the shiny outer layer, your eyes start burning and you smell that smell.
- Colin Powell, because people like Colin Powell. 'Nuff said.
- Charles Keating, his old friend from the Keating Five incident. Oh wait, he's even older than McCain!
- Rush Limbaugh has more divorces under his belt than McCain, so he might deflect some glare off of McCain's own shady relationship past. Oh, wait. Even Rush hates McCain. That won't work.
- Mitt Romney. McCain can put Mitt in charge of the economy because McCain doesn't really understand it. And this way, Utah will be a sure thing.
- Spiderman would make a great running mate. He could swoop in and remove McCain from any debate when he's doing poorly against his democratic opponent.
- Jenna Bush, because she is pro-choice and would balance the ticket and get some women to vote for McCain
- And last but not least, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, because she knows what it's like to be a flip-flopping hypocrite.
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